Monday, April 28, 2014

XOXO (A to Z Blogging Challenge)

World's best kisser!
There are not many X words, have you noticed?  I Googled XOXO and there is a Wikipedia definition of kisses and hugs so I'm going with it.

On hugging.  I'm not a hugger by nature.  I grew up in a generation that didn't show a lot of affection, or at least that's what I tell myself in order to feel better about my lack of hugging instinct. I do not recall our folks randomly hugging us or saying I love you until we were grown up and out of the house. Once my sister and I had kids, things changed. Weird. My mother was the most excellent grandmother.  When the grand kids visited, they got her undivided attention. And, she hugged and kissed them a lot.  I shoot for that as a grandmother myself but I know I fall short. My grandkids have warmed up to my hugs but they are not a kissy family and I'm okay with that.

While I wasn't a hugger growing up, my first husband's family are huggers & kissers. My mother-in-law smothered me to death and it was pretty uncomfortable when I first met his family. She'd be standing at the door when we visited, which was often, and there was no getting through that front door without a hug. She always insisted on a kiss. OMG! I learned to love that and I miss her very much. I wish I had told her how much her hugs & kisses meant to me.
 
Not everyone loves to be hugged. We need to remember to be sensitive about it. May I give you a hug? is not too hard to say before you force yourself upon someone you don't know that well.
 
My hubby is a hugger. As I write this, I realize I don't hug him nearly enough. Note to self.

On kissing friends. I hate it when women acquaintances try to give me a smooch. What is that all about? We do not live in France, people. Stop it. It's stupid. I don't want your germs and, honestly, I don't know where your lips have been. Save it for your partner. Seriously. Stop it.
 
On kissing your lover. Now, I'm not going to get too personal here because that's just how I roll but I gotta tell you that I'm now married to the world's very best kisser.  I'm not his first kissing partner and he is not mine. Don't care. He knows how to kiss a girl and that's all I am going to say about that.
 
Are you a hugger and kisser? Do you hug and kiss your friends and family?
 
love, susan 


8 comments:

  1. Now this hit a point with me. My family was also not demonstrative with the hugs and kisses or even saying I LOVE YOU. In the final few days we did get to talk (how I treasure the time I had then for a lot do not have that chance) and I hold those talks dear to my heart. Wonder tears this blog brought to me with memories.

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  2. A timely post…did you know that today is National Kiss Your Mate Day?

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    1. I did not know this! Haha! Guess I'll just give him some kisses. Must put it on the calendar for next year. What a great topic to write about.

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  3. My family isn't particularly demonstrative, either. We do tend to greet with a hug at least, and maybe a kiss, but that's about it. Weird, really, because the little ones hardly have to touch the floor if they don't want to. There's always someone willing to hold them. Help them walk, too, but if they want to be held, there's someone who'll do it.

    I don't think I've ever heard my father say "I love you." I know it, though. I didn't always. One of my sisters and one of my brothers has said it to me, that's about it. It's just the dynamic, I guess. We assume you know. It would be nice to hear once in a while, though.

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    1. Now that I reformed hugger, I see that people really do need to know they are loved. Love is action, for sure. After I grew up and left the house, I got a lot more comfortable telling my folks I loved them. Once I started saying it, they did too.

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  4. Growing up, my mother wasn't very demonstrative, but my father was a hugger and a kisser. So I wasn't overwhelmed by either. My grandmother, however, was a hugger and kisser. When I had my kids, I was very much a hugger and kisser, and I still am. Since moving to Alaska I have become quite the hugger - as most of the people I associate with are also. I don't foist myself on someone, but I will say "I'm a hugger, if you're OK with that" as I say goodbye. I can tell if they are too, by the way they hug back. If I notice a sense of stiffness or discomfort, I won't attempt to hug them goodbye again. But if they give the hug back willingly, they are my "huggable friends". :) As for hugging with Steve... we do a lot of hugging. Sometimes we'll stop and hug each other as we pass in the hallway. I like that.

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  5. I am a hugger. I grew up in a family that hugged when you went to a relatives home. Hugged Hello and good bye. My husband's family wasn't. I remember one time when my father in law came for a visit. When he got off the plane i went to bug him and he said, "don't hug me i have a cold. "

    When I go and visit my folks there is lots of hugging and kissing. I even make a point to give them a kiss goodnight. As we all get older I never know when it will be my last time being able to hug and kiss them.

    My daughter IS NOTa hugger and hasn't been one most of her life.She does know that I need them so she endures my hugs when i give her one.

    My little students love to hug me, even some of my jr and senior high schoolers hug me now and then. To me it shows that they know i care about them when they give mea hug.

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  6. This was so much fun to read! Thanks Susan! Very sweet :-)

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