Two Years Into Semi-Retirement: Best Advice Ever

 

This week marks two years since my last day of work. Full disclosure: I tried to go back to work last September but 6 weeks in I realized I could not manage working along with my home life. I came home and decided to embrace my place in life right now, which is caring for my husband, home, and one demanding dog. I quit searching the help wanted ads and started making this “retirement” my new job. That shift in thinking has made a big difference. I’m not feeling anxious and useless today. The days are going by faster than they did the first year of retirement. It’s true what they say ... it’s hard to know how I had time for anything else when I was working for a paycheck. I believe I was expert at squeezing this much <——————-——> into <—-> this much time. Time management is still important to me and I find using both my digital and paper calendar is effective. A friend who retired before me advised to never schedule more than one appointment a day. BEST ADVICE EVER. I still get up at 5am and have a habit stack that keeps me feeling encouraged and good about myself. I am still volunteering with a local non-profit that provides transportation for seniors to their doctor appointments. I truly love doing that. Lately, I have been watching a lot of YouTube videos on cooking and cleaning. I haven’t read as much as I thought I would in retirement but I’m not giving up the idea that I’ll just sit and read a book cover to cover some day soon.

Embracing this life. 

Love, susan

2020 ... A Year of Embrace

 

Photo credit: Amanda Smith
(My grandson making his way to what he wants)

Every December I choose a watchword for the new year and review my previous year’s word choice. Last year, my word was embrace. It was a perfect word for what was to become a measured period of time. 2020 will be easy to remember in years to come. Did I embrace it? Mostly, yes. Even the pandemic. But truthfully, I’ve come to despise all things Covid. 

2020: What I Embraced

Trips to Denver. Friendships. Helping on local campaign for sheriff. Slowing down. Zoom. FaceTime. Chair time. Walks with my dog. Podcasts. Netflix. Hulu. Sunshine. Good food. Phone calls.

2020: What I Let Go

My friend, Linda, died in April. My border collie, Abbie, died. Facebook. Old ideas.

. . .

My watchword for 2021 is ASK.

Do you have a watchword for 2021? Tell me.

Love, susan

Currently

Outside my window ... over here in eastern Washington it's a little darker each day. I am someone who notices these things on a molecular basis. Clear blue skies and hot temps make me smile. Remember last week I said maybe we wouldn't go to the hundreds this summer? I lied. This week:  102, 105, 105, 97, 92.  I love it!

 

Pondering ... I learned a new phrase last week that I've been saying a lot since I heard it. Get off zero. I wrote a longer post about it but haven't finished it yet. The gist is that with anything that I want to accomplish or move forward on, I must first get off zero. Move. Take action. Or kill the idea. Simply get off zero.

 

Watching ... I'm slowly watching episodes of Orange is the New Black on Netflix. It has been too nice outside to spend any time sitting in a chair but I try to watch at least one episode every day. It's hard to do after a long day ... once I sit or lay down, I am out.

 

Reading ... I am back into my book called Bright Line Eating by Susan Peirce Thompson, PhD. I am on day 5 of this eating plan after a year of falling off the wagon. Long story short, when I cut out the sugar and flour completely from my plate, I suffer zero cravings for sugar. The science behind it is fascinating. I am tired of being a slave to sugar.

 

Podcasts ... I loved an episode of 10% Happier with Dan Harris where he interviews a father of a teenage girl who committed suicide a year ago. I enjoyed listening to his discussion of coping skills he has used to survive. Warning: it is sad. You can listen to it here. The father has started a blog you can find here. We need to keep the conversations about mental health. This father has zero clues his daughter was depressed.

 

Eating ... oatmeal every day in August in an effort to get back to a life of automaticity in my diet. Today is Day 5 back on Bright Line Eating and I feel so much better. Bloat is gone. Cravings for sugar is gone. Foggy head gone. Three pounds gone. The struggle is gone. Gone, gone, gone.

 

This week ... I have a doctor appointment and breakfast on Wednesday with the retirement group. That is all for scheduled events. Love that.

 

Favorite things ... my Fitbit is on my list of Top 10 favorite things. My kids gave it to me for my birthday 3 years ago and I have gone less than 10 days out of a 1,000+ without wearing it. We are in two competitions every week for most steps. One is called the Workweek Hustle and the other is called Weekend Warrior. It clips onto my bra during the day and at night I clip it to my nightshirt so if I get up to pee I won't miss out on counting those steps. It syncs up with the app on my phone so my kids know I am alive and walking. I've said it before, sayin' it again ... the Fitbit has been a game changer for me.

 

Embracing ... change.  There are many changes coming up soon and instead of dreading them, I am choosing to embrace them. Embracing change lets me be in control of it.

 

Quote ... Get off zero!

 

How about you? What's happening currently in your life?

 

love, susan

Currently: Summer is Half Over

Newest intake to rescue. He is paralyzed in his back
two legs. Sweet, sweet disposition!

Currently is a weekly update of what's happening on the home front. A little of this and a little of that.  

OUTSIDE MY WINDOW...  This morning we had thunder, lightening, and rain. This should make for a very hot and humid afternoon with the numbers this week looking like this:  99, 99, 88, 94, and 98. Hot dog! 

PONDERING... my loss of sleep over a sciatica nerve. I'm fine during the day while I am upright and moving but just after I relax and fall asleep, I have an ache so bad starting on my backside buttock all the way down my leg that it wakes me up. I have had to start sleeping in an "L" shape to get it to subside enough to sleep. Even then. This is a self diagnosis. I'll complain to my doctor the next time I go but I don't see any point in going before my regular yearly physical. And, oh, SUMMER IS HALF WAY OVER. There's that. 

WATCHING... I have been dog sitting all weekend through late today. I have watched the first 2 seasons of The Ranch. Can I just tell you how much I love Sam Elliott and Debra Winger in this series? Some of it reminds me of my upbringing. I wasn't raised on a ranch but the small town references are not lost on me. You can catch this series on Netflix.  

READING... I am listening to Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers on Audible. It is a medically technical book but not so technical that I don't understand it. Basically, I am learning how different hormones affect our health.  

PODCASTS... I added a new-to-me show to my playlist: Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.  Last week I listened to him interview Dax Shepard (who I obviously has a star crush on right now) and Howard Stern. I think I'm going to love this podcast because in just these two interviews I've learned a lot about Conan O'Brien! Did you know he is a Harvard graduate, Magna Cum Laude? I have been hearing Howard Stern a lot on various podcasts and dying to read his book. You may think Mr. Stern is a jerk from his past radio spots but he has many hours of therapy under his belt now and has a lot to say. I believe in second chances, do you?

 

THIS WEEK... I am finishing up a dog sitting job today and start another one on Wednesday. That gives me tomorrow to be home and taking care of things. I do come home every day for a short visit with the hubs and my dogs when I'm dog sitting for other people. I also need to edit the wedding photos I shot Saturday afternoon and get those to the bride.

 

FAVORITE THINGS... This fan. I have to sleep with a fan on for both white noise and comfort. When my friend and I did our road trip last month, I threw this and another fan in the rented SUV and we decided we will never travel again without fans. This particular fan throws great air and has the right amount of sound to lull me to sleep. This is on my Top 10 list of things that I'd never live without.

 

EMBRACING... I am embracing the fact that summer is half over. We typically have a very nice September and I always look forward to that month but I am really enjoying the here and now of today.

A QUOTE TO SHARE...

 

I wonder what it would be like to live in a world

where it is always June. 

L.M. Montgomery "Anne of the Island"

Embracing Life Changers

My dog laying next to me while I read.
She has my heart, this one.

I've been walking a lot since my last day of work. People told me I'd be busy and wonder how I got anything done before, and that has proven to be true. The days fly by and they've been all good days. Love that. My word for 2019 is embrace. I've been embracing every waking moment lately.

 

On dog poo bags ... While I was walking this morning, I was thinking about dog poop bags. Silly thought, I know. Here's why. My friend from Alaska was talking about her dog poop bags and how much she hates the smell of them. Apparently, they are scented. She must have a lot of them because I'd think she would just buy different ones and throw out those smelly ones. She is sensible that way. So I gave her a roll of my dog poo bags and told her it was my gift to her. She is always bringing me something from Alaska when she visits. I'm embarrassed that I rarely have something for her in return. This trip though, I did give her a painting that a local artist did from a photo I had provided of my friend's dog and cat. She really loved it but I'm also hoping she loves those poo bags just as much, ya know?

 

Speaking of practical things ... while we were on the road trip last month, my friend secretly ordered me a lighted magnifying mirror that attaches to my big bathroom mirror. We had more than one serious conversation about the rogue hairs us old ladies grow on our chins. Before this magical mirror, I had to use a chemical hair remover on my face and it was so harsh. Not now. Can I just tell you how much I love this new mirror? Holy shit! It is a life changer. Along with it, she gave me a little hand held mini shaver that is just for that peach fuzz we get on our face. How did I live without it?

 

A new travel bag ... had to be ordered while I was in Denver. The zipper on my old bag decided to not work and I had to use a fork to get it open. My son suggested I order a new bag on Amazon that could be delivered before we had to leave. I would have never though tto do that on my own. That old bag had seen some miles, let me tell you. I was not sorry to leave it behind. It never was something I loved but I think this bag may go in the love column.

 

I haven't been writing much and honestly, I've lost my creative spark. Tomorrow I think I'll go back to a weekly post called Currently that I snagged from a blogger I read regularly. 

 

So, I'm curious, what one or two items do you own that you think are life changers? Tell me!

 

love, susan



Monday Upsides: Learning to Sit Still

It's snowing again. This is the 5th snow storm we have had in February. There seems to be no end to it this week. Snow through Thursday and the temps are not warm enough to melt it. All I can think of is the many layers of dog poo that await me in March.

 

 

Monday Upsides:

• I'm home after an 11 day house sitting job
• It's starting to be light at 6:30am
• Only 12 more working Mondays to go
• I finally cut and colored my hair this weekend
• I am halfway through Amy Poehler's book Yes Please on audible
• I watched the Oscars last night all the way from beginning to end. I am learning to embrace sitting still. Wasn't Bradley Cooper dreamy when he smiled at Lady Gaga at the end of their song together? I heard his talk with Oprah on her Super Soul Sunday podcast. He's a sweetie!

I've been talking to and emailing the retirement benefits person in Juneau. All I am asking for is some kind of confirmation letter that my benefits are in place and that there will be no hitches on June 1st. That seems to be like pulling teeth. All I can say is that when these people who are in charge of retirement get to be my age, they'll understand the importance of being stressed about lapsing coverage. You don't want that to happen at my age. So, I am preparing myself to have to work a week or two into June to guarantee that I don't have that happen. If I receive medical insurance cards in the mail prior to the middle of May, I can adjust that but right now all I can do is wait. I'd like to give my employer an ending date but it is not in the cards for me to do that yet. It's gettin' real!

 

Okay. Well, no text from work that we are on a 2 hour delay. Guess I'd better get moving. Is it wrong I should go poke at the hubs to get up out of his nice warm bed?
 

love, susan

Got Grace?

I witness grace on an almost daily basis in my work day. Yesterday was no exception. I saw it in a handshake, tone of voice, eye contact, and words spoken by a prosecutor to someone who finished their prison sentence and is now in the financial part of their amends.

 

While I see these things and at the very moment I don't know the exact word to put on it, grace is what came to me this morning. So, I looked up the synonyms for it and found politeness, courteousness, good manners, civility, respect, respectfulness, deference, chivalry, gallantry, good breeding, gentility, graciousness, kindness, consideration, thought, thoughtfulness, cordiality, geniality, affability, urbanity, polish, refinement, courtliness, decorousness, tact, discretion, diplomacy.

 

Grace.

 

Please never let me forget to extend it even in situations where it may not be deserved. Sometimes situations will not turn out the way the seeker wishes. That doesn't mean we have to be mean spirited or lose our integrity in handling it. There is never a good reason for me to pour salt into a wound or to wish someone ill. Grace. Pass it on. Embrace it. Lean into it. Let it be who you are.

 

That's all.

 

love, susan

Holding Space for Others

 

Yesterday was a full day. One of the women in a big circle of friends I see on a regular basis had written on FB that she wanted to start a book club in 2019. A couple of mutual friends jumped on that and we had our second meeting yesterday. The starter of the group wasn't able to attend but those who could show up, showed up. I've learned a lot about group dynamics over the years and it is something that has been on my mind a lot lately due to several circumstances that have happened over the last year. I am an observer and a thinker. Bottom line is that we had a great conversation about the book we're reading this month called Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. One person skipped a couple of chapters, one person quit reading this book altogether, and another just didn't have time to read more a couple chapters. I'm not here to review the book. But, some interesting thoughts bubbled up while deep in conversation with my women friends yesterday that I want to share.

 

Writer's Grace I admitted to the group that I DID NOT want to read this book when they announced it was the chosen one.  I read it anyway and was pleasantly surprised that I found things I could relate to. I decided to read this book with what I dub writer's grace. People, it's fucking hard to write a book. This book is her story. Who am I to judge her? I changed my attitude and I believe it helped me get through it with the most open mind I could muster. In the end, I thought it was slightly sugar coated but as we discussed in book club, publishing a book is difficult and there is such a thing as a target audience (tribe). I am not her tribe but I managed to find something to take away from her experience and honor her efforts. Isn't that what we're here for?

 

Take What You Want, Leave the Rest This is a cliché that has served me well for lots of years now. I feel like everyone I cross paths with has something to teach me. Sometimes it is a characteristic that I want to study more, or it's a behavior I find appalling and I strive to "not be that way". It doesn't matter, I embrace it all and feel like every day I am in this huge classroom with y'all. Besides coming together to talk about the book, I was impressed with the commitment the other women in this newly formed club made to show up at 9am on a Saturday morning for coffee. Holding space means a lot to me and apparently to others.

 

Encouraging Other Writers Turns out one of the women in the book club is a writer. She's been trying to get back to a manuscript she has in the bag, so we talked about encouraging each other. Just that simple interaction prompted me to keep a few notes in my memo app so I could write this today.

 

BONUS YESTERDAY: After book club, I photographed this beautiful German Shepherd rescue and then I went on a photo walk in the afternoon with my photo buddy. We went in search of American Bald Eagles and we were not disappointed when we came upon a mature and juvenile eagle sitting together. It was gift from the universe!

 

After all this, a friend gave birth to her baby late in the day. I received a photo of her beautiful baby girl and I couldn't help but think the day was maybe the best one I've had in a very long time. If every day was like yesterday, I might die from over-happiness. It was right up there on the scale!

 

DO YOU HOLD SPACE FOR OTHERS? Do you go into it with expectations, or do you wait to see how it is all going to turn out? Do you ever read a book you don't really want to and later decide you're glad you didn't count it out? What are you reading right now?  Talk to me!

 

love, susan

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time Off: It's Like Birthday Money

 

Missy vying for her piece of my "time" pie

I had the greatest day off  celebrating the new year. Laundry got done, a few blinds got dusted, a nap was had, a lackadaisical coffee date with a friend, and a meet up with several like-minded friends at the end of the day. Dogs were loved on, the hubs got a fabulous home-cooked stir-fried lunch, and I finished listening to The Poisonwood Bible on audible. 🌟  I often have a difficult time in my time off ... so many things I want to do but troubled by figuring out how I want to spend my precious days off ... kind of like a kid with birthday money and not sure how she should spend it. 🌟 At the end of the day, I smiled because I felt like I really leaned into the watchword I chose for 2019 ... embrace. Embrace the here and now, embrace my friends, embrace my life. Most of all, I am learning to embrace the struggles. There is much to be learned. That's all.

 

love, susan

Taking My Lessons from Bears: Wrapping Up 2018

♥️Resist was my watch word for 2018. It served me well for the most part. It has been a different year. I started seriously thinking about taking my retirement from the State of Alaska last year. I have the paperwork in hand and getting ready to send it in soon for a retirement date of early June. I'm not sure I'm ready for full retirement but I know, for certain, I am ready to work a lot less. I am tired. I recently listened to a podcast of some young people who took a sabbatical which included going off social media and truly not working for a year. I have taken a summer off but never an entire year. I know I have enough to stay busy but, honestly, that isn't what nags me. I've always been a wage earner from about age 14. I was raised to pay my own way, and I thank my parents for that. It isn't that we don't have enough to live on that keeps me up at night, it is that deeply ingrained training that I am wage earner. It's a hard concept to overcome. If I'm not earning a wage, what is my worth? And, at age 60, will I ever be employable again if I decide I hate not working? If you are not in my age bracket, you will be some day. These are things you'll have to think about. So, for the remaining 10 days of this year, I shall try to resist future tripping. ♥️I have resisted drama. The specifics I'll leave to my personal journal but let me say here that it is a growth thing for me to put my virtual hand up and say, not my circus. This does not come easy to me and it has left me feeling a bit cold-hearted at times. I walk a fine line between being a very good listener, an emotional sponge, and someone who just has to walk away sometimes for my own mental health. If you are reading this and I have walked away from you, please know it was more about me than you. My dance card is full. ♥️I have resisted my ego. I was promoted early in 2018 to a job that I was less happy doing. I got honest and asked to go back to the job I had loved for many years. It was a good move for me (thank god for Unions!), a good move for my office. ♥️I have resisted  being a volcano. I have personal struggles that I wake up with every day. Some days are easier than others to maintain an even keel. Thankfully, I have closed mouth friends who allow me to vomit when I need to, which likely has saved my life from blowing up. Everyone should have friends like mine. They are pure gold. ♥️What I have not resisted well is sugar. I went off the tracks back in July on a vacation trip and I have struggled since then. I have gained back 15 lbs. of the 35 I lost and I am so uncomfortable in my skin right now.

 

EMBRACE

 

My 2019 watch word came to me a couple of weeks ago while I was putting my pajamas on at about 5:30pm, right after I arrived home from work but before I cooked dinner. I couldn't wait to scarf whatever it was I cooked and trudge up the stairs to my pillow. I've been in this pattern every winter for the last 10 years. In the past, I have beat myself up endlessly for just wanting to pull the cover over my head and say wake me when it's spring. It occurred to me that I really should stop beating myself up for a disorder I have very little control over, and ♥️embrace♥️ it. Seasonal Affective Disorder is a fact of life for me. Bears don't beat themselves up for being bears and doing what bears do in the winter ... hibernate. Why should I? The moment I had this thought, I felt free.

 

I am also going to ♥️embrace♥️ insomnia, black coffee, my hubby, gray skies, slowing down, feeling like a ship with a loose sail, and the fact that two of my three dogs are in the end stage of their lives. I am going to try to embrace feeling uncomfortable for awhile and really listen to others' struggles and solutions for that. I am going to embrace what was, what is, and what will might be. I'll try to be graceful and thoughtful in my words and actions.

 

How about you? Did you have a watch word for 2018? Will you have one for 2019? Tell me about it!

 

♥️love, susan