I Believe Her

If you haven't heard of the controversy this last 10 days over Christine Blasey Ford's claim that she was sexually assaulted by Judge Brett Kavanaugh, you probably aren't even reading this blog. It's big news.

 

Guess what? What she is claiming happened to me in high school. I never told another soul about it until this week when I told the hubs about it. I believe Christine Blasey Ford. I believe her.

 

I am writing this today because I can.  I am far removed from that place and time where it took place. I do not wish to harm anyone by the disclosure. As a matter of fact, I don't even feel harmed by it. But Christine Blasey Ford feels harmed. It clearly affected her enough that she went to therapy over it. That is not my experience.

 

I blame myself for being in a position to be harmed. Much like her claim, I had been drinking. I ended up in a vehicle with him, down the road away from people, and I was assaulted. It was sobering. I never talked about it to anyone but you can bet your life savings I never again put myself alone in the same place with that person. That doesn't mean I wasn't assault again ... just not by that person. I have forgotten a lot of things in my nearly 60 years but the memory of that experience is crystal clear. I'll save you from the details.

 

Back in the day, we didn't talk about sexual assault. It was not part of  conversation any of us ever had. Ever. Never ever. The fact that it is at the front and center of everything now is not a bad thing. I'm sure there are lots of men squirming in their seats right now, waiting to be outed. I don't relish that idea. I am a firm believer that when we know better, we do better. We can do better.

 

We can do better. We can keep this conversation going. But, please spare me the victim blaming.

 

love, susan