Giving Up Things That No Longer Serve You

Hey all! This week has gotten away from me. That's always a good thing for me. I'd much rather be busy than sitting in my chair wishing my time away.

 

Last week, the hubby hauled in 20 boxes of vinyl records from the garage that have to go live somewhere else. There are still 10 boxes in the garage and we estimate there are 1,700+ albums in his collection. Long story short, he found a record seller up in Yakima and took the first 10 boxes up to him yesterday. Such a relief. I looked into doing the selling myself on Amazon but realized quickly it would be a full-time job getting them inventoried and graded. There isn't enough time in the world for me to care enough about that. We've been together 17 years and those records have been sitting in boxes for that long and are slightly bent from the heat of Arizona. I played a couple of them on the record player I bought last weekend and they play fine.

 

While I was peeking in the boxes I found England Dan and John Ford Coley's album. It instantly reminded me of my best friend from high school. I don't why. I cannot remember their hits but it seems to me she loved them. Or was it Seals & Croft? Then, I saw Rod Stewart peeking from another box. I love him. I'm not ashamed to say it. Back in the day, he was often the background music for my partying nights. Do Ya Think I'm Sexy! OMG, I loved the late 70's and 80's ... glad I survived ... nothing short of a miracle.

 

The Little River Band was there when I was going into my 20's and 30's. Their songs bring up memories, mostly good ones. If I looked in those boxes more, I could find some AC/DC, Aerosmith, Prince, you name it ... it would be there. Hubs was a true record collector. I say was because somewhere along the line, he wasn't interested in any longer. He never played those records in all the last 17 years. They have been taking up space.

 

We are transitioning our lives in anticipation of moving sometime between now and next May. There is a lot to remove before that can happen. I've been downsizing hard for the last year and still there is so much stuff to rehome. Stuff that just weighs us down and collects dust. For me, the process helps me think twice before I buy anything new. He seems to have gone through a grieving process and is on the other side of it now because he is willing to give up "the stuff" that we simply cannot move one more time.

 

While this post may be a lot to do about nothing, I needed to write today.

 

Have you had to give up things that no longer serve you?

 

love, susan

 

What a Difference a Day Makes: A Life List

Body painting happened at the art
show this weekend. It was amazing!

The numbers this week are 55, 63, 64, 63, 67.  San Diego weather! These are the numbers all eastern Washington residents wait for. Finally.

 

My Favorite Moment(s) Last Week I have a couple of them but what comes to mind is standing around visiting at the art show on Saturday afternoon. One of my friend's granddaughter was there and when some party music came on she could not help but start dancing. The sheer joy in her eyes will keep me this entire week. Tacos in the back seat of a friend's truck with 4 other hungry people was also a highlight. There's nothing like tacos to bring people together.

 

What's Right In My World The wind finally exited. The sun is shining. I found an airbnb that is just right for the hubs and I in Anchorage for our Alaska trip this summer. Everything is set and paid for so I can check that daunting task off my list. Next chore: taxes.

 

Wall art happened at the art show.

What I'm Resisting OMG! I so much want to see the fallout from Stormy Daniels interview last night on 60 Minutes but I don't want to be that girl who cares who the president hit up. I'm resisting the news this morning. It reminds of back in the day when Bill Clinton said he didn't have sex with that woman. I believed him. (Rolling my eyes right now) Whatever. I actually could not care less who people have sex with. None of my business.  None of anyone's business.  Talk about the tail wagging the dog.

 

What I'm Thinking I talked on my phone more over the weekend than I have in an entire month. People needed to talk. It was all good. I'm still a bit teary eyed over talking about end of life stuff. I am writing it here because I want my son to know I was perfectly straight up when I told him I would not want people visiting me on my deathbed. Let's do more reunions and celebrate birthdays and get together while we are healthy and happy. Now is the time!

 

What's Happening This Week I have training on Wednesday. Maybe lunch in the park with a friend today. Hoping to get outdoors a lot this week.

 

If This is My Last Day on Earth I could die happy today. The sun is finally here and days are getting longer and warmer. I spent the entire weekend with good friends and there was not an unhappy moment in all of it.

Gotta go now and get a move on! Hope you have a fabulous day wherever you are.

 

love, susan



The "It"

The weather is finally warming up a titch. The numbers this week are 63, 64, 59, 56, and 54. Now, if the sun will just come up a little sooner, this princess will be happy.

 

I'm not going to follow my usual Monday life-list list format this week. Besides, it's not Monday any longer. I've been in a funk and it came to a head yesterday. I'm on the other side of it I think but now it's time to get real.

 

It's no secret to anyone in my inner circle that I fall prey to depression (seasonal affective disorder) in the winter. I have had it all my life and it is a familiar place for me. Mostly I am able to control it with a light box and Vitamin D. Some years I take a low dose of anti-depressant when it gets out of hand. This winter I stopped taking medication but can't remember exactly when. The cure is sometimes worse than the disease and that's what has happened with medication. The side effects are shitty. Mostly, I am unable to concentrate on anything ... feeling like a total zombie.

 

So, I've done fine until this last week. I've not been sleeping well and my brain will not turn off. Yesterday I woke up with a familiar impending doom feeling. I got dressed and headed to work but couldn't quite shake it. On the verge of tears every moment. I took my lunch and headed to the river to get some blue sky in my life and maybe have a good cry. My friend, T, who lives near the river, happened to see my not-so-conspicuous car and pulled into the parking lot to say hello right before I launched into a full out meltdown. Ha. She had no idea. I'm good at sucking it up. And, I did. And, it passed.

 

This morning, I don't have that feeling any longer. That standing-on-the-edge-of-the-abyss feeling. If you've never felt it, I am so happy for you. If you have, you know what I'm talking about. It's not a suicidal feeling. What I've discovered is that it is a change of season feeling.

 

My life is a series of seasons and the hubs and I are getting ready to go into a new season. A weather season and a life season. Change is coming and it causes me to think too much. Most of the time I'm not even aware that I'm thinking too much until it causes me a total mind and body breakdown. Thankfully, today I am able to talk about it and work through it. I'll be okay. I am okay.

 

The new job is a roller coaster ride for me. Some days I feel really good about it and confident. Other days, my confidence is shaky and I wonder what I was thinking by stepping out of my comfort zone. In the end, it's all good. I didn't get to be almost 59 by always taking the back seat in life. I'm a risk taker. I'd rather risk failure than to be paralyzed by fear and live my life going down the same road. Been there, done that, not going back.

 

What comes to mind this morning as I write is an experience I had when I first met my hubby. We were new in our relationship, mind you. I had taken a job at a title company and was 3 days into the job and knew immediately it was a bad fit for me. He said, why don't you quit? Because I'm not a quitter, I said. He said, is it going to get any better? No, I said, it is what it is. He suggested I run it through the serenity prayer, which has become a filter I use often.

 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And, the wisdom to know the difference.

 

I do like my new job and I daily get attaboys from my mentor. This means a lot to me and I am ever so grateful to work with such devoted public servants. It is my life's purpose for now. Every day gets a little better.

 

More will be revealed.

 

love, susan

 

 

Human Flow ... the Documentary

This movie finally arrived on Amazon Prime. I am one hour into it. I can only watch a little at a time.

 

Thank you to my pen pal who insisted I watch it. I promised her I would.

 

I will never be the same.

 

love, susan

A Quick Post: A Life List



Great spring day in Eastern Washington

The weather this week couldn't be better. Today will see 64 degrees followed by 60, 56, 55, and 56. I'd say just about perfect, wouldn't you?  I'm running behind today already. I had a full weekend and the best parts were when I went outside. The hubs and I traveled two places on Saturday to get some rescue dog photos. It was fun to have him come along. He's a great help when he's not trying to engage the releasing owner in conversation. My husband is a talker and can easily get distracted from the task at hand. Luckily, he takes my cues light-heartedly and he really does a good job cajoling the dogs into positions where I might get a decent shot. Plus, I'm glad he got out of the house.  I got our airplane tickets purchased for the Alaska trip we're taking this summer. Reservations for a rental car are done. I'm glad to get that off my to-do list.  Yesterday, we stopped at WalMart (where I never shop) to pick up some clip-on sunglasses for him. I'm happy to write that he found a good fit there. He has needed them ever since he misplaced the ones I bought him at Costco. They are probably in the jacket he left somewhere over the winter. I have to watch him like a hawk.  I am having lunch with my good friend, T, today to celebrate her 43rd  birthday. Last night we had dinner with another friend. I love celebrating birthdays as much as possible. She quipped that she didn't know how she got to be 43.  I said, well, you just didn't die. She thought that was funny. It's true! I love watching people start to examine their life. It usually happens in the mid 40's. I've discovered it happens again when one nears 60. Eeeeks!   Well, I've run out of time to write more this morning. I blame it on daylight savings time. Hope you have a great day wherever you are!  love, susan



Gypsy, 5 month old Border Collie

March On: A Life List

Monday, March 5 ...The temps this week are encouraging in this area. We'll go from 55 to 62 on Sunday. This makes for a happy me.  My Favorite Moment Last Week Oh, I had lots of them. I moved all my stuff to my new desk at work and cleaned off my old desk in anticipation of a new person starting today. Once I had it cleaned off, I thought "wow, what a nice work space!" My new office is small and I often eat lunch at my desk but there is simply no room to do that. This will force me to get away for an hour every day. I also had an epiphany about part of my new duties. I get to thoroughly read criminal police reports in my role as a part-time public records person. Dream job! Getting paid to read true crime. I'm not looking forward to the sexual assault cases but give me a homicide and I'm hooked, word for word. Right now I am in the middle of reviewing a crime from 1984 ... back when transcripts were printed on onion paper. My tactile senses are going crazy! What is right in the world is that we are emerging from a long, gray winter and spending more time outdoors. We took two road trips this weekend and it did my heart good to take in the sunshine and blue skies. What I'm resisting is sugar. We went to a spaghetti feed Saturday night and my hubby thought it was sweet to tell me there were chocolate covered cherries on the dessert table. Up until then, I was doing fine and then one ended up in front of me. Well, about 8 (could have been more) chocolate covered cherries later I think he may finally understand my sugar addiction. I'm not blaming him. I got right back on track yesterday and attended another potluck last night. I took a big container of cottage cheese and loaded up my plate with salad to go with it. Resistance is mine. What I'm thinking is that I have a super busy week ahead of me with training a new person. I'm going to need to stay on top of my energy level and keep a good attitude. What's on my camera makes me happy. Getting outdoors over the weekend makes me want more outside time. We saw probably 200 deer on our road trip to Heppner, Oregon on Saturday afternoon. Our friend who drove said the full moon keeps the deer out eating all night due to the full light. The future holds a very busy couple of weeks getting our new person trained at work.  I am learning new job skills and my head may explode. I am weirdly excited about this. Finally, if this was my last day on earth I want to tell you that it's all going to be okay. I've been reading a lot of garbage posts on FB but also some encouraging articles about the political climate. Our future is in the hands of the young people and we can only hope they keep rising up. Do not be discouraged. love, susan

 

 
 
 



I Did Not Love You, February: A Life List

The Numbers This Week It is March this week and the numbers should be going up soon. They are better than last week at 48, 48, 51, 51, 47. The wind this weekend has flared up my allergies but I refuse to be a slave to them. A big thanks to my essential oil hookup. The little vial she gave me this time last year still works like magic.

 

My Favorite Moment from Last Week It was a hard week and I barely remember it but one thing that I will never forget is sitting in court on Friday, listening to the husband of a woman who was senselessly murdered a year and a half ago talk about how it has affected his life. They had been married for 30 years. Frankly, I don't know how he was able to sit in the same room as the woman who murdered the love of his life. There are some things in this life I will never be able to wrap my mind around and one of them is the cold bloodedness of some souls. There was a detective sitting directly in front of me who was reduced to tears as the victim's husband spoke. Sitting there reminded me of our life's work and the dedication of the team I am privileged to work with very day. I don't want to call it pride, that seems self-indulgent. More so, when I hear victims talking I feel a sense of duty to do show up and do my best for my small part in the process of justice. The murderess will spend all her remaining days behind bars. My favorite moment was when the judge said he didn't have any discretion in the sentence and that frankly he wouldn't grant it even if he had it. Justice served.

 

What's Right in the (My) World The hubby is actively looking online at properties in Arizona. Don't get your water hot about it though. We've been through this process before, it could take a long time to find the right place. And, we could change our minds. Been there, done that. That's the beauty of thinking things through.

 

What I'm Resisting For those who don't know, resist is my word for 2018. What I'm resisting currently is .... hmmm ... I don't know. I'll have to think on that. Complacency maybe?

 

What's On My Camera I did some head shots on Saturday for a friend's son who is a young teen wanting to maybe get into the modeling business. I'm not a professional photographer and they know that but they trusted me to do my best. That was fun!

 

What My Future Holds Tonight we're having dinner with a very good friend who lives in Portland. She travels over here about once a year and it's fun to catch up with her. Tacos tomorrow night with T.  Work, eat, sleep, repeat.

 

If This is My Last Day, Here is My Final Thought  I think people should do more reunions instead of getting together at funerals. I hate funerals so much. We're planning a big gathering in July which will be held in Fairbanks. I am thrilled to pieces we planned it far enough out that people I've never met before will be there. My birthday is in May and I always hold a bbq in the park for it. I would much rather see people on a happy day than a sad one. That's all.

 

love, susan

Past the Halfway Mark: A February Life List

Looking Out My Window It's dark and cold. The numbers this week are discouraging at 39, 39, 42, 32, and 48. I know spring is right around the corner. Winter tends to take me right to the edge of the abyss but I'm hanging in.

 

My Favorite Moments Last Week There are too many to recount but what comes to mind is standing on the walking trail with the hubs while his daughter snapped a photo. He is happiest when he is in the trees and it shows on his face in the photo. Personally, I hate the dampness of Portland and I'm always cold when we visit in the winter time. We saw our grandson play basketball and his sister perform with her dance team at half time.

 

What's Right in the World We crammed a lot of visiting in last weekend and what's right in my world is we didn't watch one minute of news. I feel like if we continue to focus on the negatives we won't see all the good stuff. And, there is way more good stuff than not. Fact.

 

What I'm Resisting Since I came off my month long FB deactivation, I've pretty much kept my phone logged off. I do go on first thing in the morning and take a peek at FB world but not finding much to hold my interest. I do love this new (previously owned) phone I bought for its great camera. I've become an Instagram junkie.

 

What I'm Thinking I do not want to go to work today. I have enjoyed 4 days off and packed a lot of fun things into it and the thought of going back to work today is just not giving me the warm fuzzies. I will have to work on my attitude before I get there. It's always hard after a holiday weekend. We did hire a new person to replace me and she'll start on March 5. I'm happy we found a good fit.

 

"You're not the boss of me!"
(He eventually went into
a down position. Patience is key.)

What's On My Camera I took some dog pics yesterday when we got back from Portland. I have taken this dog's photos before (for fun) but now he is going into the rescue program to find a home that is a better fit for him. He's a lot of dog and needs to be with someone who can manage him. I really enjoyed the session as my good friend, T, came with me. It's always nice to have an extra person (besides the releasing owner) to handle the dog so I can try to get a decent picture. T is a dog lover like me so that made it extra fun.

 

What the Future Holds My stepdaughter is booking a beach house for a weekend in April. We've discovered that is the way to go when there are a few people in a party going to the beach. I love having something to look forward to. I'll be house/dog sitting for a friend the weekend after that. I always enjoy doing that ... it is some alone time that I don't get very often but I appreciate it when I do. Spring flowers are coming. And, only 15 months of Mondays until retirement.

 

If This Is My Last Day, Here is My Final Thought I really hope things in the world get better and not worse. I refuse to be part of the problem. There is more good in the world than not. Be kind to everyone you meet, no matter what.

 

love, susan

Love Will Find a Way: A February Life List

 



Weather Here This Week The temps are down a bit as we have an arctic blast coming through. Numbers this week are 42, 47, 51, 45, and 53, which doesn't seem awful but the wind has put a bite in it. It makes my case for moving to Arizona. That's all.

 

My Favorite Moment(s) From Last Week It may have been when the clock turned 5:00pm on Friday. Easing into my new job while still doing the old job. It really sucked my energy last week. My second favorite moment was yesterday when I met up with my friend to watch her hand off her foster dog to a nice couple. She hadn't seen her foster dog in 3 weeks (long story) and when he saw her, that dog melted into her. There's no love like that of a canine. Long story short, he is ready to move on to a permanent placement and I was so happy to be witness to the event. Training dogs makes them more adoptable and my friend did a fantastic job with him.



Cece and Addison

What's Right in the World

• So far, the plumbing job my electrician hubby did is holding. He gets extra points for this!
• There are technically only 2 more weeks of potential winter.
• The tulips are comin' up.

What I'm Resisting I am resisting the urge to future trip. There are all kinds of things in the works and my old self likes to skip ahead. Retirement is surely on my mind a lot these days but I have a lot to do between now and then. Resisting thinking too much about Arizona. It won't be a done deal until we buy a place so that whole idea could go away in an instance. I'm excited about the position I am going into and the new things I'm learning. Hang on or let go ... those are my choices today. Sometimes it's hard to know which way to go.

What's On My Camera Attended a birthday party for a really special one year old on Saturday. Gave hubby a haircut. Evidence of spring. And, dogs.

 

"Andy" a new rescue
Jack Russell/Blue Heeler

Spring is kicking winter to the curb

What the Future Holds I'm taking some puppy pics on my lunch hour this week. We're heading to the west side on Friday afternoon for a long weekend. Hubby is celebrating 30 years of sobriety with great friends over there. Love me a road trip!

 

Hubby got a haircut Saturday

If This Is My Last Day on Earth, Here is My Final Thought Last night on our way into town, a song came on the radio called Love Will Find a Way by Pablo Cruise. It was released 40 years ago. My best friend, Lisa, loved that song. I am grateful that part of my brain still works. I zoomed back to that time and place like it was yesterday. I'm 40 years older but I'm still that 18 year old sometimes. My final thought is that it has been a great life! I hope today is not my last one. I want this life.

love, susan



Get Your Pit On: A February Life List

Weather This Week Holy cow, the numbers are: 60, 55, 58, 63 and 52.  I hate to say it out loud but I think we've dodged winter this year. Geez luweeeze.

 

My Favorite Moment from Last Week I was out at a dog boarding kennel, standing with a young girl about age 13 while waiting for a woman to take her dog out of the car to meet and greet another dog (Corgi/Pit mix) she was potentially going to foster. I was there to photograph the foster dog. She kindly told us to put our dog treats away and that we might want to stand back because she didn't know how the meet was going to go down. The experienced 13 year old grabbed my arm and said, "we should stand waaaaaay back". She was right! The dogs got into a little scrap. I turned away ... I cannot stomach dog fights at all. They broke it up quickly and no blood was shed.

 

What's Right in the World It's now light when I leave work at 5. I have survived another dark winter. One more and I'm out of here. Serious about that.

 



Seriously. Does this look like a pit bull? Corgi, yes.

What I'm Resisting Negativity.

 



They tell me the tell-tale sign of
a pitbull is the smile. But look at
those beautiful teeth!

What I'm Thinking I have a doctor's appointment this week. I've been having some trouble with my hip aching at night. I want to be in denial about this whole aging thing. Old people have hip problems. I am not old. 

 

What's On My Camera I had two dog shoots last week. Thank goodness for that because this time of year can be really boring as far as pictures go. Or ... maybe ... I'm boring.

 

What the Future Holds I started my new position Friday afternoon. I'll be easing my way into it as we still have a couple of interviews to replace my current position. My new job is going to require a lot of reading. I think I'm going to learn a lot of new things while reviewing documents for public records release. Some of those things will be gory. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't shy away from gore. I look it straight in the face and do a lot of wondering about humanity.

 



Not much color this time of year
but glad there is no snow.

If This Was My Last Day on Earth, Here is My Final Thought Son, I enjoyed talking with you on the phone last night. The fact that you were making chicken soup for your lunch and my sweet daughter-in-law's lunch this week really warmed my heart. That you add noodles to hers was the sweetest thing I heard all week.

 

love, susan

Cave-Man Moves

You never know what it is that's going to put the hook in you.

 

I had coffee with a couple of friends this week and one of them said, "aren't you glad you're not single?"  Yeah, I'm glad about that. I see friends and family struggling with this whole modern dating scene and I simply don't understand it all.

 

One of the frequent comments I hear from serial daters is 'there was just no connection'. Whatever that means (rolling my eyes here). I'm left wondering how people can "make a connection" when they've only spent 60 minutes over a cup of coffee, or a burger, or drinks. Seems like an expectation that is doomed to fail every single time. But, that's just me. I was never a dater. I'm pretty sure I'd suck at it.

 

Last night, my hubby made a trip to the store in the cold, pouring rain to fetch some half & half for me. I had used the last of it and I knew I'd be unhappy if I didn't have it for this morning's cup. I am pretty low maintenance in the happy department. He was rewarded with a full body hug and kisses on his neck for bringing back the kill. Think caveman.

 

I woke up this morning and while pouring the creamer in my cup I was thinking back to the very moment this man put the lasting hook in me. Very early (maybe day 3) in our relationship we took off from his home in Longview, Washington on a camping trip that lasted what seemed like two weeks. If you want to get to know someone really well, I highly recommend a road trip complete with camping gear. We traveled to eastern Oregon and Washington in September. Beautiful trip.

 

One morning, we woke up in either Lewiston, Idaho or Clarkston, Washington. They are on the border and I can never remember which one it was. Doesn't matter. We woke up. In a cheap motel. After a beautiful night. This is a PG rated blog so you can let your imagination run wild here but I never kiss and tell, okay? He got dressed and walked across the street to the gas station and returned with a steaming-hot cup of coffee with cream and sugar. It was the kindest thing anyone had done for me in a very long time. I cried. He had no idea what he had just done.

 

You see. It's the thoughtful things people do for us that matter. It isn't the way they look, or the shape of their teeth, or the color of their eyes. It's those kind gestures. More than just opening a door or paying for dinner. It is knowing those little things about us that stick and stay.  How can you know those things in 60 minutes?

 

So, I say to all you daters out there ... give love a chance. At least give it a second chance. You may be overlooking the very thing you are seeking if you don't give more to it than a few minutes and a glance.

 

It's February and besides all the summer months, this is my favorite month. I love everything hearts and Valentine cards and all the mushy things that go along with it. I love love. I am not a hopeless romantic but I love seeing my friends at work receive flowers from their loved ones. But that half & half was better than any card he could ever give me and he knows it.

 

When and how did they put the hook in you? Do you ever give them a second look? Are you a serial dater?  Tell me!

 

love, susan