Holding Space for Others

 

Yesterday was a full day. One of the women in a big circle of friends I see on a regular basis had written on FB that she wanted to start a book club in 2019. A couple of mutual friends jumped on that and we had our second meeting yesterday. The starter of the group wasn't able to attend but those who could show up, showed up. I've learned a lot about group dynamics over the years and it is something that has been on my mind a lot lately due to several circumstances that have happened over the last year. I am an observer and a thinker. Bottom line is that we had a great conversation about the book we're reading this month called Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. One person skipped a couple of chapters, one person quit reading this book altogether, and another just didn't have time to read more a couple chapters. I'm not here to review the book. But, some interesting thoughts bubbled up while deep in conversation with my women friends yesterday that I want to share.

 

Writer's Grace I admitted to the group that I DID NOT want to read this book when they announced it was the chosen one.  I read it anyway and was pleasantly surprised that I found things I could relate to. I decided to read this book with what I dub writer's grace. People, it's fucking hard to write a book. This book is her story. Who am I to judge her? I changed my attitude and I believe it helped me get through it with the most open mind I could muster. In the end, I thought it was slightly sugar coated but as we discussed in book club, publishing a book is difficult and there is such a thing as a target audience (tribe). I am not her tribe but I managed to find something to take away from her experience and honor her efforts. Isn't that what we're here for?

 

Take What You Want, Leave the Rest This is a cliché that has served me well for lots of years now. I feel like everyone I cross paths with has something to teach me. Sometimes it is a characteristic that I want to study more, or it's a behavior I find appalling and I strive to "not be that way". It doesn't matter, I embrace it all and feel like every day I am in this huge classroom with y'all. Besides coming together to talk about the book, I was impressed with the commitment the other women in this newly formed club made to show up at 9am on a Saturday morning for coffee. Holding space means a lot to me and apparently to others.

 

Encouraging Other Writers Turns out one of the women in the book club is a writer. She's been trying to get back to a manuscript she has in the bag, so we talked about encouraging each other. Just that simple interaction prompted me to keep a few notes in my memo app so I could write this today.

 

BONUS YESTERDAY: After book club, I photographed this beautiful German Shepherd rescue and then I went on a photo walk in the afternoon with my photo buddy. We went in search of American Bald Eagles and we were not disappointed when we came upon a mature and juvenile eagle sitting together. It was gift from the universe!

 

After all this, a friend gave birth to her baby late in the day. I received a photo of her beautiful baby girl and I couldn't help but think the day was maybe the best one I've had in a very long time. If every day was like yesterday, I might die from over-happiness. It was right up there on the scale!

 

DO YOU HOLD SPACE FOR OTHERS? Do you go into it with expectations, or do you wait to see how it is all going to turn out? Do you ever read a book you don't really want to and later decide you're glad you didn't count it out? What are you reading right now?  Talk to me!

 

love, susan

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday Upsides: 19 Mondays to Go



Love this message!

The hubs using the noise cancelling earphones
his daughter gave him for Xmas!

Last week I received a call from the records department for State of Alaska, confirming the certified documents I ordered to complete my retirement packet are headed my way. Those should arrive this coming week, and I think I'll have everything I need to wrap up my application and put a stamp on it. The next step will be waiting for a return letter that confirms my retirement is set to go with a start date. I figure I'll have to work the first week of June, and since there are two Monday holidays between now and then, I only have 19 to go. I've never hated Mondays. I don't hate them now. But, I do look forward to warmer weather and the thought of growing some tomatoes and peppers, and having the time to give them the care they deserve. This weekend, I bought a book called How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free by Ernie Zelinski. I believe I am on the right track!

 

Upsides:

• We've had very little snow so far this winter.
• The hubs is using his new headphones (read: political b.s. silenced)
• I survived a trip to Costco on Saturday.
• I made a new dish called Coconut Curry Garbanzo Beans that was a big hit.
• I am back on the Bright Line Eating band wagon ... finally.
• Yesterday, I napped with reckless abandon. #screwguilt
• Did I mention I only have 19 working Mondays to go?

Nineteen Mondays to Go!

How about you ... what upsides can you think of?

love, susan

Monday Upsides

I'm posting this from my cellphone, which is annoying to do. So, keeping it simple.

Upsides:

Not one cloud in the sky today.

I'm dog sitting for two cute dogs.

Had lunch on Saturday with my pregnant friend. 

Met up for coffee with my new book club girls.

20 Mondays to go. Yes, I'm counting.

Time Off: It's Like Birthday Money

 

Missy vying for her piece of my "time" pie

I had the greatest day off  celebrating the new year. Laundry got done, a few blinds got dusted, a nap was had, a lackadaisical coffee date with a friend, and a meet up with several like-minded friends at the end of the day. Dogs were loved on, the hubs got a fabulous home-cooked stir-fried lunch, and I finished listening to The Poisonwood Bible on audible. 🌟  I often have a difficult time in my time off ... so many things I want to do but troubled by figuring out how I want to spend my precious days off ... kind of like a kid with birthday money and not sure how she should spend it. 🌟 At the end of the day, I smiled because I felt like I really leaned into the watchword I chose for 2019 ... embrace. Embrace the here and now, embrace my friends, embrace my life. Most of all, I am learning to embrace the struggles. There is much to be learned. That's all.

 

love, susan

Monday: The Upside for the First Week of 2019

New ideas are emerging as the sun stays up a minute or two longer every day now that solstice has passed. Monday: The Upside will be a collection of photos I take over the weekend along with some positive thoughts. Having something fun to look forward to, whether it is a date on my calendar, that first cup of coffee in the morning, lunch with a friend, a visit from loved ones, etc. is what I live for. In the spirit of upside, here is what I have on my plate this week.

• Going dancing with the hubs tonight along with a couple hundred like-minded friends.
• Tomorrow I shall enjoy a day off and think about the new year.
• Finish up my application for retirement benefits from State of Alaska so I can send it in soon.
• Tomorrow is Day 1 of The Minimalist Game.
• Photo shoots on Saturday and Sunday, one with a very pregnant friend, and another with pitbull(s).

What are the Upsides in your upcoming week/year?

 

love, susan

 

 

The boathouses at Clover Island (Kennewick, WA)



The lighthouse at Clover Island (Kennewick, WA)

Sunrise on the Columbia River (Kennewick, WA)

Abbie and me. She always howls when I try to take her picture.

New Products

 

I recently visited with a friend who happens to have one of those fancy-schmansy espresso machines. She uses a bean that is indescribably great. When she put a can of this stuff in front of me with a spoon, I asked her how she got it to fluff up so much. No, no, Susan ... I just took the lid off the can. She told me where she bought it and I made a special trip to stock up on this yumminess. (Note: I am still trying to get off the dairy products and have been less than successful. Maybe this product will be my answer.)

 

I love finding new-to-me products. Granted, I have used lots of coconut cream out of a can but this one is far superior to the those I have been buying. Coffee beans from her supplier are on the way, too. I hope it all tastes as good as it did at her house.

When I was working out at Hanford, I had lunch with a group of women who were always buying new products (mostly crackers) and bringing them to share at lunch. Man, I got a lot of good ideas from them.

Got a product you love that you'd like to share with us? Please leave a comment with something you've tried recently that you're crazy about.

love, susan

Taking My Lessons from Bears: Wrapping Up 2018

♥️Resist was my watch word for 2018. It served me well for the most part. It has been a different year. I started seriously thinking about taking my retirement from the State of Alaska last year. I have the paperwork in hand and getting ready to send it in soon for a retirement date of early June. I'm not sure I'm ready for full retirement but I know, for certain, I am ready to work a lot less. I am tired. I recently listened to a podcast of some young people who took a sabbatical which included going off social media and truly not working for a year. I have taken a summer off but never an entire year. I know I have enough to stay busy but, honestly, that isn't what nags me. I've always been a wage earner from about age 14. I was raised to pay my own way, and I thank my parents for that. It isn't that we don't have enough to live on that keeps me up at night, it is that deeply ingrained training that I am wage earner. It's a hard concept to overcome. If I'm not earning a wage, what is my worth? And, at age 60, will I ever be employable again if I decide I hate not working? If you are not in my age bracket, you will be some day. These are things you'll have to think about. So, for the remaining 10 days of this year, I shall try to resist future tripping. ♥️I have resisted drama. The specifics I'll leave to my personal journal but let me say here that it is a growth thing for me to put my virtual hand up and say, not my circus. This does not come easy to me and it has left me feeling a bit cold-hearted at times. I walk a fine line between being a very good listener, an emotional sponge, and someone who just has to walk away sometimes for my own mental health. If you are reading this and I have walked away from you, please know it was more about me than you. My dance card is full. ♥️I have resisted my ego. I was promoted early in 2018 to a job that I was less happy doing. I got honest and asked to go back to the job I had loved for many years. It was a good move for me (thank god for Unions!), a good move for my office. ♥️I have resisted  being a volcano. I have personal struggles that I wake up with every day. Some days are easier than others to maintain an even keel. Thankfully, I have closed mouth friends who allow me to vomit when I need to, which likely has saved my life from blowing up. Everyone should have friends like mine. They are pure gold. ♥️What I have not resisted well is sugar. I went off the tracks back in July on a vacation trip and I have struggled since then. I have gained back 15 lbs. of the 35 I lost and I am so uncomfortable in my skin right now.

 

EMBRACE

 

My 2019 watch word came to me a couple of weeks ago while I was putting my pajamas on at about 5:30pm, right after I arrived home from work but before I cooked dinner. I couldn't wait to scarf whatever it was I cooked and trudge up the stairs to my pillow. I've been in this pattern every winter for the last 10 years. In the past, I have beat myself up endlessly for just wanting to pull the cover over my head and say wake me when it's spring. It occurred to me that I really should stop beating myself up for a disorder I have very little control over, and ♥️embrace♥️ it. Seasonal Affective Disorder is a fact of life for me. Bears don't beat themselves up for being bears and doing what bears do in the winter ... hibernate. Why should I? The moment I had this thought, I felt free.

 

I am also going to ♥️embrace♥️ insomnia, black coffee, my hubby, gray skies, slowing down, feeling like a ship with a loose sail, and the fact that two of my three dogs are in the end stage of their lives. I am going to try to embrace feeling uncomfortable for awhile and really listen to others' struggles and solutions for that. I am going to embrace what was, what is, and what will might be. I'll try to be graceful and thoughtful in my words and actions.

 

How about you? Did you have a watch word for 2018? Will you have one for 2019? Tell me about it!

 

♥️love, susan

Dog Diaries

We're all up in here waiting for winter solstice. Missy Moo went to the vet this week for a teeth cleaning. We thought she might have to have some teeth extracted but apparently they are all in good shape. She is in the early stage of kidney failure though. She sleeps a lot these days and drinks a ton of water. We love this old girl. Her eyes show her weariness and I know I'll have to make some decisions in the following months. Until then, we're going to spend extra time loving on her and the other two home wreckers. ***sigh***

 

Christmas love to you, susan

Just This

Bartering

 

Cold Weather. Getting out in the cold this weekend kicked my tail. I had 3 photo shoots for family photos. It was a lot of fun and I enjoyed it very much but man, oh man, I got chilled to the bone and couldn't get warm. I wore my silky long johns yesterday. My Alaska friends will laugh at me because it is 32 degree here.   Bartering. The first family I did photos for on Saturday asked me how much I charge for coming out in the cold. I usually just tell people that if they insist, I love coffee. But this guy comes from a long line of fishermen, so I told him I would love a piece of fish. He brought me a frozen salmon filet and a big, steaming hot latte. OMG .. loved that. We are having the fish for dinner tonight. My friend T says she loves bartering. I didn't know people still used that term and it really got me to thinking about it. I'd like to see bartering make a comeback! Photo Bartering. I will take photos for anyone who asks. Many of the folks who have given me the title of family photographer are young people who struggle to make ends meet. I always tell them to pay it forward. I hope they do. Do you ever barter with friends?  love, susan

November 2018 Dining Out Budget Results Revealed

 

Drum roll please. Dude, we stayed under $100 for the month of November's dining out budget. Stick with me while I tell you how I spent it.  Just Joel's: We stopped for breakfast on a Sunday morning because I have been dying to eat at this new local establishment my friend raves about. Breakfast out is my favorite meal. The hubs and I split a veggie omelette and skipped coffee since it was later in the morning. With a tip, it was $15.45.  Bangkok Thai: I snagged a buffet lunch there twice this month. It is my weakness. Total $27.46. Yummie Pho: Lunch for one with a tip: $11.76. The price of pho has gone up. Note to self ... this is not a good deal for soup. Greek Island: Met a former work friend for lunch. $12.32  Bacon & Eggs: On a Sunday drive to Walla Walla, we split an omelette and had 2 coffees at this great local spot on main street. $17.61. DINING OUT TIP: If you are like me and love the experience of eating out but you hate busting your budget, try splitting a meal with your loved one. Another item that will kill your budget is drinks. Who couldn't use more ice water in their diet? 

 

TOTAL SPENT IN  NOVEMBER

DINING OUT:  $84.60

My monthly budget is $100 and I'm feeling good about it. However, I am going to have to be careful in December because I spent $82 last night for a pizza party to celebrate the hubby's birthday with friends. This leaves me $18 for the rest of the month. I feel fairly confident I can do this. I have a Friend Day on my calendar this Sunday. A bunch of us get together for lunch and shopping at a different mall every year. We're meeting up at a local crepe place. My diet doesn't allow for flour & sugar and I really blew it last night on pizza so I may just be having some of their fantastic coffee. That'll help keep me under budget. The rest of the month, I am done eating out. Can I do it?  What I learned in November: I eat lunch out too much. I think I'll try to pick one day that I want to go out for lunch with work friends and try to stick to that. The way my budget looks right now, I won't go out to lunch until January. But, that gives me something to look forward to. Guess I'd better go now and make my lunch for today. That's my favorite excuse for eating out ... oh, I didn't have time to make a lunch.

 

In other budgeting news, in November I paid my home and auto insurance for the year. It was $2,011 ($168 a month). I have budgeted $250/month in this category so I have some wiggle room where I can take some money out of that line item and move it somewhere else, if needed. I like to pay my insurance in one lump sum because I don't want to have to think about paying it every month. It also saves a monthly service fee that I can always use somewhere else.

 

One last thing I want to tell you is that I am loving the budget feature on my credit card account. If I use my card for all my purchases, it is easy for me to see where my dollars fall in my budget. Love that. My local grocery store only takes dedit cards so I have to keep a good eye on that by hanging on to my receipts. I only go the store on Sundays so that's easy for me.

 

If you've read this far, I thank you for dropping in. Hope you found something here that might be helpful to you. If you have any tips for me, please share them in the comments. I love hearing from you!

 

love, susan