As If

What day is it anyway? I don't know anymore. Yesterday, I totally missed my stepdaughter's birthday. She reminded me in a Marco Polo. She said the kids were going to make her breakfast but when her youngest was rousted out of bed, he wasn't quite awake and he broke open their very last egg into the garbage can. She can't find eggs. I can't find bleach. 💚 I have been doing okay but I lost it a tiny bit at the store the other night when I still can't find a container of bleach. The white vinegar shelves are completely empty. "OH MY GOD" ... I said kinda loud to no one. Then, I realized how silly I was being. I didn't go to the store for white vinegar, I needed apple cider vinegar to ward off the gnats that have appeared all of a sudden. And, there was plenty of that. I should be grateful. White vinegar ain't none of my bees wax. 💚  I haven't kept a journal of this pandemic quarantine. I was telling my friend, who is sheltering with us, that I learned at an early age that when bad things happen, I can magically dismiss them like they never happened. I am the queen of denial. It's my super power. This, right now, is just a made-for-TV bad dream. 💚 My good friend and fellow photo-walker died last week. I cried and cried, and then I got up and decided to kick grief to the curb for now. As if. 💚 So, I was looking at my phone photos and discovered the last social thing I did was March 8, 2020, when I traveled to Lake Havasu to visit my high school buddy (pictured here). After that, I've been meeting up with friends and family on Zoom and FaceTime. 💚 I'm canceling my trip to Denver in May to see my new grandbaby and trying not to future trip ... when will I get to see him next? He was a preemie who spent 152 days in the NICU. Can't risk infecting him. 💚 And, my hubs .. he is almost 70 and would likely not survive a bout with this virus. I need to think long and hard about what social distancing means to us. 💚 We'll get on the other side of this. I've been through much harder times, trust me on that. Until then, I'll live without bleach and white vinegar. Adjust.

love, susan