What a Difference a Day Makes: A Life List

Body painting happened at the art
show this weekend. It was amazing!

The numbers this week are 55, 63, 64, 63, 67.  San Diego weather! These are the numbers all eastern Washington residents wait for. Finally.

 

My Favorite Moment(s) Last Week I have a couple of them but what comes to mind is standing around visiting at the art show on Saturday afternoon. One of my friend's granddaughter was there and when some party music came on she could not help but start dancing. The sheer joy in her eyes will keep me this entire week. Tacos in the back seat of a friend's truck with 4 other hungry people was also a highlight. There's nothing like tacos to bring people together.

 

What's Right In My World The wind finally exited. The sun is shining. I found an airbnb that is just right for the hubs and I in Anchorage for our Alaska trip this summer. Everything is set and paid for so I can check that daunting task off my list. Next chore: taxes.

 

Wall art happened at the art show.

What I'm Resisting OMG! I so much want to see the fallout from Stormy Daniels interview last night on 60 Minutes but I don't want to be that girl who cares who the president hit up. I'm resisting the news this morning. It reminds of back in the day when Bill Clinton said he didn't have sex with that woman. I believed him. (Rolling my eyes right now) Whatever. I actually could not care less who people have sex with. None of my business.  None of anyone's business.  Talk about the tail wagging the dog.

 

What I'm Thinking I talked on my phone more over the weekend than I have in an entire month. People needed to talk. It was all good. I'm still a bit teary eyed over talking about end of life stuff. I am writing it here because I want my son to know I was perfectly straight up when I told him I would not want people visiting me on my deathbed. Let's do more reunions and celebrate birthdays and get together while we are healthy and happy. Now is the time!

 

What's Happening This Week I have training on Wednesday. Maybe lunch in the park with a friend today. Hoping to get outdoors a lot this week.

 

If This is My Last Day on Earth I could die happy today. The sun is finally here and days are getting longer and warmer. I spent the entire weekend with good friends and there was not an unhappy moment in all of it.

Gotta go now and get a move on! Hope you have a fabulous day wherever you are.

 

love, susan



The "It"

The weather is finally warming up a titch. The numbers this week are 63, 64, 59, 56, and 54. Now, if the sun will just come up a little sooner, this princess will be happy.

 

I'm not going to follow my usual Monday life-list list format this week. Besides, it's not Monday any longer. I've been in a funk and it came to a head yesterday. I'm on the other side of it I think but now it's time to get real.

 

It's no secret to anyone in my inner circle that I fall prey to depression (seasonal affective disorder) in the winter. I have had it all my life and it is a familiar place for me. Mostly I am able to control it with a light box and Vitamin D. Some years I take a low dose of anti-depressant when it gets out of hand. This winter I stopped taking medication but can't remember exactly when. The cure is sometimes worse than the disease and that's what has happened with medication. The side effects are shitty. Mostly, I am unable to concentrate on anything ... feeling like a total zombie.

 

So, I've done fine until this last week. I've not been sleeping well and my brain will not turn off. Yesterday I woke up with a familiar impending doom feeling. I got dressed and headed to work but couldn't quite shake it. On the verge of tears every moment. I took my lunch and headed to the river to get some blue sky in my life and maybe have a good cry. My friend, T, who lives near the river, happened to see my not-so-conspicuous car and pulled into the parking lot to say hello right before I launched into a full out meltdown. Ha. She had no idea. I'm good at sucking it up. And, I did. And, it passed.

 

This morning, I don't have that feeling any longer. That standing-on-the-edge-of-the-abyss feeling. If you've never felt it, I am so happy for you. If you have, you know what I'm talking about. It's not a suicidal feeling. What I've discovered is that it is a change of season feeling.

 

My life is a series of seasons and the hubs and I are getting ready to go into a new season. A weather season and a life season. Change is coming and it causes me to think too much. Most of the time I'm not even aware that I'm thinking too much until it causes me a total mind and body breakdown. Thankfully, today I am able to talk about it and work through it. I'll be okay. I am okay.

 

The new job is a roller coaster ride for me. Some days I feel really good about it and confident. Other days, my confidence is shaky and I wonder what I was thinking by stepping out of my comfort zone. In the end, it's all good. I didn't get to be almost 59 by always taking the back seat in life. I'm a risk taker. I'd rather risk failure than to be paralyzed by fear and live my life going down the same road. Been there, done that, not going back.

 

What comes to mind this morning as I write is an experience I had when I first met my hubby. We were new in our relationship, mind you. I had taken a job at a title company and was 3 days into the job and knew immediately it was a bad fit for me. He said, why don't you quit? Because I'm not a quitter, I said. He said, is it going to get any better? No, I said, it is what it is. He suggested I run it through the serenity prayer, which has become a filter I use often.

 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And, the wisdom to know the difference.

 

I do like my new job and I daily get attaboys from my mentor. This means a lot to me and I am ever so grateful to work with such devoted public servants. It is my life's purpose for now. Every day gets a little better.

 

More will be revealed.

 

love, susan

 

 

Human Flow ... the Documentary

This movie finally arrived on Amazon Prime. I am one hour into it. I can only watch a little at a time.

 

Thank you to my pen pal who insisted I watch it. I promised her I would.

 

I will never be the same.

 

love, susan

A Quick Post: A Life List



Great spring day in Eastern Washington

The weather this week couldn't be better. Today will see 64 degrees followed by 60, 56, 55, and 56. I'd say just about perfect, wouldn't you?  I'm running behind today already. I had a full weekend and the best parts were when I went outside. The hubs and I traveled two places on Saturday to get some rescue dog photos. It was fun to have him come along. He's a great help when he's not trying to engage the releasing owner in conversation. My husband is a talker and can easily get distracted from the task at hand. Luckily, he takes my cues light-heartedly and he really does a good job cajoling the dogs into positions where I might get a decent shot. Plus, I'm glad he got out of the house.  I got our airplane tickets purchased for the Alaska trip we're taking this summer. Reservations for a rental car are done. I'm glad to get that off my to-do list.  Yesterday, we stopped at WalMart (where I never shop) to pick up some clip-on sunglasses for him. I'm happy to write that he found a good fit there. He has needed them ever since he misplaced the ones I bought him at Costco. They are probably in the jacket he left somewhere over the winter. I have to watch him like a hawk.  I am having lunch with my good friend, T, today to celebrate her 43rd  birthday. Last night we had dinner with another friend. I love celebrating birthdays as much as possible. She quipped that she didn't know how she got to be 43.  I said, well, you just didn't die. She thought that was funny. It's true! I love watching people start to examine their life. It usually happens in the mid 40's. I've discovered it happens again when one nears 60. Eeeeks!   Well, I've run out of time to write more this morning. I blame it on daylight savings time. Hope you have a great day wherever you are!  love, susan



Gypsy, 5 month old Border Collie

March On: A Life List

Monday, March 5 ...The temps this week are encouraging in this area. We'll go from 55 to 62 on Sunday. This makes for a happy me.  My Favorite Moment Last Week Oh, I had lots of them. I moved all my stuff to my new desk at work and cleaned off my old desk in anticipation of a new person starting today. Once I had it cleaned off, I thought "wow, what a nice work space!" My new office is small and I often eat lunch at my desk but there is simply no room to do that. This will force me to get away for an hour every day. I also had an epiphany about part of my new duties. I get to thoroughly read criminal police reports in my role as a part-time public records person. Dream job! Getting paid to read true crime. I'm not looking forward to the sexual assault cases but give me a homicide and I'm hooked, word for word. Right now I am in the middle of reviewing a crime from 1984 ... back when transcripts were printed on onion paper. My tactile senses are going crazy! What is right in the world is that we are emerging from a long, gray winter and spending more time outdoors. We took two road trips this weekend and it did my heart good to take in the sunshine and blue skies. What I'm resisting is sugar. We went to a spaghetti feed Saturday night and my hubby thought it was sweet to tell me there were chocolate covered cherries on the dessert table. Up until then, I was doing fine and then one ended up in front of me. Well, about 8 (could have been more) chocolate covered cherries later I think he may finally understand my sugar addiction. I'm not blaming him. I got right back on track yesterday and attended another potluck last night. I took a big container of cottage cheese and loaded up my plate with salad to go with it. Resistance is mine. What I'm thinking is that I have a super busy week ahead of me with training a new person. I'm going to need to stay on top of my energy level and keep a good attitude. What's on my camera makes me happy. Getting outdoors over the weekend makes me want more outside time. We saw probably 200 deer on our road trip to Heppner, Oregon on Saturday afternoon. Our friend who drove said the full moon keeps the deer out eating all night due to the full light. The future holds a very busy couple of weeks getting our new person trained at work.  I am learning new job skills and my head may explode. I am weirdly excited about this. Finally, if this was my last day on earth I want to tell you that it's all going to be okay. I've been reading a lot of garbage posts on FB but also some encouraging articles about the political climate. Our future is in the hands of the young people and we can only hope they keep rising up. Do not be discouraged. love, susan