Thursday, December 1, 2016

BLT Flashbacks


This photo was taken in the late 70's. I remember it like it was 5 minutes ago. Lately, I've had the weirdest memories bubble up. It's disturbing and wonderful at the same time.

Today, I had a strange one and feel the strong need to write it down.

When I met my first husband, I was working at a department store in retail sales. We met at a disco night club and were pretty much inseparable after that first dance. He was unemployed at the time, still living at home, and collecting unemployment checks. I can't even remember what kind of work he did but he drove a brown, Ford 4x4 and he was a fairly good dancer. Two qualities I'd still put on a wish list if I had to make one.

Since he was unemployed, he used to pick me up at lunch time and we'd drive down to C&J's Drive In for the absolute best BLT sandwich. I only had 30 minutes for lunch so I think he probably called it in and we'd run down to eat and get me back to work on time. I loved that. Today, I can picture all of it. The brown truck, the road to the drive-in, that beautiful BLT sandwich, and that hubby with his brown, curly-permed hair. I was crazy about that guy. As time went by, I hurt him deeply. I still bear the guilt of that even though he forgave me ... more than once.

I wrote earlier this week that my emotions are running the gamut. I wasn't kidding. Stuff like this has been coming up on a regular basis. It's hard for me to ignore it. I swear, I don't know where it comes from. I'm not into morbid reflection, I'm really not. But if I could only have the BLT memories, that'd be super. That's not how it  happens.

You know how they say if you do LSD that it will get stored in your fat cells and later come out of hiding and you'll have a flashback? That's what memories feel like sometimes. Like they've been sitting dormant for a long time and something in the brain shifts and they pop up out of seemingly nowhere. 

Weird.

love, susan





4 comments:

  1. I am making my way to figuring out how to navigate your blog. It is interesting. I also love how memories just pop up from time to time with no apparent reason! This was a good flashback!

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    1. I used to have my blog in a different template and I made the mistake of changing it and can't get it back to an easier one to navigate. Perhaps since I have deactivated my FB account for the month of January, I shall take the time to fix it. Thanks for hanging in there and finding the comment button. :-)

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  2. They're like old, home movie pop-ups. :) Last night I read from a great book that helps me settle into old-girl hood a lot more gently. A good part was all about forgiveness, and what happens after we ask for it. We're forgiven but we must still "pay for our mistakes." Used to be I shut down uncomfortable thoughts, whereas I embrace them now. I've been hurt and I've hurt others. Sometimes we're not even aware that we've hurt others; then comes the "when bad things happen to good people" moments in life, and we ask God "why" in all caps. Flashbacks are good things. Life is interesting, yes?

    Sometimes you ask the best questions. :) You make me glad I never tried LSD.

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    1. My sister-in-law died on December 22. I'm pretty sure these memories popping are a result of thinking of her non-stop for the last few weeks. I did just let the memories float to existence and I laughed and cried, sometimes simultaneously. It's all good.

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